The importance of memory

Pine Pass, British Columbia in December

December is a heavy month for me. Not only does it hold beloved family traditions, it holds the memories of the passing of both my parents. Every year as the snow falls and neighbours hang their seasonal decor, a feeling comes over me. It is almost unnoticed at first, a gentle melancholy, then a yearning. Images from a season past enter my mind, a time when relatives had come out to the farm to celebrate, sliding their cars into deep snowy ditches on their way out. The house was warm, the oven pumping out delicious smells in waves of heat. Windows were steamy from too many people talking all at once and laughter tickled the ears. Today, my house is silent. Everyone has gone in their own direction and I am left with these thoughts. I never knew I could long to hear my father’s voice so much. Just to hear him laugh again; see his face light up in humour. It has been 19 years.

This year, I think about my mom as well. She often put great effort into decorating our home. She would paint mirrors and windows, hang beautiful homemade decorations, and place candles around. Talking was her favourite holiday activity. As a child it bored me, but there was comfort in the drone of constant conversation. My last Christmas with her was several years ago. My husband, kids and I made the 5 hour drive through the Pine Pass. Even though she was in constant pain, her house looked lovely. There was a lot of conversation and laughter and I believe my kids were both bored and comforted by it. Mom passed away last year, within days of the anniversary of Dad’s passing.

Today, my house is quiet. In my mind I hear the holidays of the past and as plan ahead, I am conscious of the importance that holidays remembered will hold for my kids in the future.  (photo by me, Kim (Gullion) Stewart.)

When less was more

My son, now 18 attends the same college that I work at. We carpool and today we will be here longer than expected; over the lunch hour. I sent him a text asking if he wanted some money for food, “Yes!!!” was his reply. After I paid for his burger and fries, a modest $9 CAD…I thought about a time when my Dad had treated me and my friends to a donut during school hours. In high school we had a great hangout. It was the local bakery. If you were planning to miss a class, at some point you’d end up there. That’s what had happened the one and only day I ever skipped class. My parents who lived 25 kms out of town just happened to show up at the bakery for coffee. As they sat down my Dad’s eyes met mine. I could feel my face flush…he was a scary guy when he got mad. He walked over and asked me what class I was supposed to be in, “Record keeping” I said. He asked me what my mark was, “an A” I said. He pulled out a $5 billed and said, “This is for you and your friends to pay for your donuts, don’t ever do this again.” I was surprised and greatful. The $5 paid for 3 donuts and 2 coffees, and I never did that again.

The view from here

I thought I’d share a couple of photos from our latest wilderness getaway. The family usually just packs up the camper and heads out. We sometimes have a general direction in mind, but we don’t always have a place. We just take it as it comes. I find these outings to be very relaxing, recharges my creative abilities.

Early morning on Bear Lk in Northern BC

Grass hissing in the wind, Northern BC

The closing of a chapter

I have completed the work for my Master’s degree over the past weekend. I began this ‘project’ in 2009 and thought two years looked like a very long stretch in front of me, but like most challenges the time when by quickly. Being incredibly busy helped. I was working full time, going to school every 3rd+ weekend and working on homework during most of my spare time. It was taxing on my family and I want to thank them for all for their amazing support. I am indebted to my knowledgable instructors, Dr. Celeste Snowber, Dr. Lynn Fels, Dr. Indrani Margolin, Dr. Yaroslav Senyshyn, Dr. Carolyn Mamchur and Dr. Vicki Kelly. As an instructor myself, I understand how much you give of yourselves for your students! Without my peers in the cohort, I would be nowhere. Your ability to encourage me kept me going. And finally I would like to praise God who was with me all the way. I will convocate in October and after that weekend I will officially have earn my MEd. Arts Education from Simon Fraser University. I learned so much through deep inquiry, I cannot imagine living any other way. I look forward to living in the beauty that the work has brought into my life. Below are a few samples of the artwork that I was making as research during the last two years. I hope you enjoy…

night photo from my garden using a long exposure ~image by Kim

Close up photo using lighting and the dampness of the day ~image by Kim

repurposed imagery displays characteristics of today's children ~image by Kim

repurposed imagery collaged to convey my thoughts about today's children ~image by Kim

New Digital Piece

Title: Top Dog - Digital Art by Kim (Gullion) Stewart

I’ve been messing around in Photoshop again. Practicing composition skills, using colour and shape to direct the viewer’s eye, combining my traditional sketches with photos I’ve taken. I’ve gone the abstract route for my subject, preferring to evoke a mood or feeling along with a narrative or story-like image, rather than creating something representational.

mocha in my Helvetica mug, does it get any better than that?

Drinking from this mug just makes me happy!

A warm drink on a blustery day to help me stay focused. I have just over a month to go in my master’s studies and I am looking forward to completing the work. This last class is on aesthetics in education and I am enjoying the material. I am reading from Landscapes of Aesthetic Education by Richmond and Snowber. Celeste Snowber is the instructor for this class and I find her writing really resonates with me. I just read a poem of hers called Moist Manna where she refers to a child catching snowflakes on his tongue.

In it she asks:

I wonder why
as adults, we forget
to lie down
in the textures of
the natural world
and behold the
beauty of what
falls into our arms.

I still feel as though I am moving through life too fast; barely looking up from the load I am carrying. At this moment I want to look up and wonder at everything that is around me, the ants at my feet, the leaves overhead and a warm mug in my hands. At this moment I have everything I need. At this moment, I am okay.

waiting to adopt…

There is a tiny hole in the fabric of this family. In January my family lost our little dog Bandit to an unnamed illness. I have been trying to adapt as we still have our lovely Laika dog, Sheeba, but there seems to be a small presence missing. Bandit was a positive, happy, and constant companion who was game for absolutely anything, except a bath. He kept me smiling with his ‘glass half full’ view of the world. Last week the family headed down to the local pet shelter ‘just to have a look’ and we found this sweet little guy:

At 1.5 years old, Ruger is every bit a clown, intelligent, handsome and agreeable. We started the adoption process and were scheduled to bring our dog Sheeba down for a meet-and-greet but found out that all the shelter dogs were under quarantine due to Kennel Cough. The shelter has no estimated date for release, and we have no idea whether or not Ruger has been infected. So for now, we wait.

sneak peek: new art

Just a teaser, this is a detail of my latest oil pastel work.

I’d like to show you the rest of the piece, but that would spoil the surprise. I really had a lot of fun working on this piece. My hands were just covered in the bright blue of soft oil pastels. I really get involved with these pieces. A mentor once told me that I ‘beat up my canvases’. It just doesn’t seem like I’ve done the work unless I push it. I’m sure you could find some DNA left on there if you had the right equipment.

You can see the entire painting this Friday at the show opening for Groop Gallery at 7pm in Prince George, BC.

Mucking around in the studio

I was pastel sketching with all my might!

Traveling to Van in a van…

Yes, it is true. Tomorrow the CNC Fine Art’s class of 2011 and three faculty will be boarding a 15 passenger van headed for Vancouver on our annual field trip. We usually fly, but this year a fellow faculty member offered to drive us. Immediate benefits come to mind when I think of ‘shopping’. We usually walk everywhere we go and shopping is limited to a couple of art books, basically whatever you can carry for hours on end. I was thrilled when I opened my email yesterday and saw that Opus Framing is having their garage sale this weekend, and, hey… we will have a van in Van! I could actually buy some frames and store them in the van. I am also thrilled that we can visit the Museum of Anthropology. I remember going there as an art student to sketch. Their collection includes over 36,000 ethnographic objects and 500,000+ archeological objects including full-sized west coast feast bowls and totem poles. The entire place is an aesthetic feast for the eyes! All I have to do is survive the trip down.

Back to the van; I am hoping that 13 happy people traveling in a small space will not create an 8 hour din and just in case I am bringing a set of ear plugs. Now, before you decide that I am a party-pooper I should tell you that I have ‘very’ sensitive hearing. Those earplugs could mean the difference between a happy field-tripper and one with a migraine. Maybe I should bring my travel pillow and an eyeshade incase I really want to pass out. Just poke me when we get there!